escalator woes.

The escalator from the first floor to the second floor is being repaired. On one hand, this is good because the Otis repairmen are...well, let's just say "easy on the eyes" is an understatement. And let's just say if you like rugged men with Boston accents, you'd like escalator repair-time.
HOWEVER.
Now, does everyone understand the difference between escalators and stairs? One moves, one stays stationary. Got it? So I'll tell people who say, "Um, how do you get to the second floor?", "There's an elevator right there" (point to the left) "and stairs around there" (point to the right). To the right ALSO happens to be where the down escalator ends, but there's a big sign saying "stairs" with an arrow at the stairs so one would think people could figure it out?
(two seconds later)
"THOSE STAIRS ARE MOVING DOWN. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?"
Okay. First of all: stairs don't move. Secondly: Moving "stairs" are called ES.CAL.AT.ORS. Since ours is clearly broken, and I directed you to this foreign thing called "stairs" (yes, you must propel yourself upward, as hard as it may be to expend that much energy), you must use those OR the elevator. And yes, you have to wait for said elevator.
Take this woman:
"The elevator is taking a while."
"Well, yes, with the repairs it's being used a lot."
"I work here," she says. "There must be a freight elevator to use."
Ok, if you work "here," you know where the freight elevator is. If you work for the university and expect to get special treatment, then you are seriously delusional.
I don't say this. Instead, I say--very perkily!--"If you don't want to wait for the elevator, there are stairs!"
"No," she says, insistently, "I know there's another elevator. I work here."
"Well, ma'am, I'm sorry, but the people that actually work here need that for their jobs. It's a hazard to have non-employ--"
I'm cut off.
"I'll just be a second...I just don't want to wait--"
I cut her off.
"No. You have to wait with everyone else if you don't want to use the stairs."
How annoying is this?
I. Don't. Care. You're not using the other elevator. First of all, NO. And second of all? There are fifty people that actually do work "here" that are trying to do their jobs. To think that you can infringe on our personal space, use our elevator--one of the few sacred, sheltered spaces during the work day, is ridiculous.

As for further impinging on my space: do not come to my desk and attempt to use the computer that clearly is marked FOR EMPLOYEES ONLY. You do not know how to use our system. And do not try to guide my hand on the mouse--I know how to use a computer. Do not start rapping on the keyboard. My computer is a little old and she's a good girl until you start whacking her and saying she's too slow. Chill. I don't come into your office and mash on your computer keys. This may be a "public" place, but limits, people, limits. Lest I have to slap your hand and say:
NO TOUCHING.
(And if you don't get that reference...shame on you.)