I'm looking for a book...

"I'm looking for a book. It's called The Big House."
I've been concentrating on a little number-crunching, and I blearily look up and blink at this very, very intense woman standing over me. At night when I close I often get into "office mode;" it's the time I do paper work and ordering, since it's usually slower in the evening.
I say, "Okay, we can check on that" as I take two seconds to mark a number before I clear the computer screen. The woman kind of makes this hand motion, like, "Hurry up," which irritates me. It really annoys me that I'm expected to drop everything immediately. Let me finish writing a freaking price down. (As a side note, the same thing happens when I'm speaking with a co-worker at the register. When someone approaches, they often interrupt us mid-sentence. In what other place in life is it acceptable to cut two people off? The other day it took me 15 minutes to explain a 30-second instruction because people kept approaching and interrupting me. Yes, I see you there. You're hovering over me. But we're obviously looking at a piece of paper and I'm obviously explaining something to someone who is obviously writing down what I'm saying. Why are you so much more important that you can't let me finish a sentence? I realize that my job is to give out information. I will gladly do that. I acknowledged that you were there when we made eye-contact, but since I have my bag on my shoulder and a cell-phone in my hand and am standing on the customer side of the desk, LET ME JUST FINISH MY SENTENCE SO I CAN LEAVE THIS PLACE. And if I had been a customer, (and this has happened many times), I would be pissed that you infringed on my time and space. Geez.

Anyway, I search for this woman's book. A dozen books pop up, two that we have in the store. I read off those titles and she says, "No, it's a novel." I don't have any fiction listed, and I ask if she knows if it was recently published. Yes. Okay, the most recently published title was 2005. I state this and read that title. "It's called "The Big House" and I'm not sure why you're reading me this?" Well, because it's ALSO called that, but has a subtitle that I thought might help solve the mystery? "Is it a novel?" It doesn't seem to be, it looks like a memoir. "I told you it's a novel. Why aren't you putting that in?" Cause that's not a search criteria? "Novel" does not qualify as a keyword. Shocking, I know.
"So what you're saying is that you can't find a recently published book called 'The Big House'? I don't understand why you're looking at 2005. It's recent."
Yeah, I know. You told me. "I'm not sure, maybe the adjective is wrong? Maybe it's "huge" or "large"?" I'm very careful to not say, "You have the adjective wrong."
"So you don't have it?" Well, didn't we establish that like ten minutes ago?
"I don't see anything...it seems to be a common name, so if you find the author? That might help?"
"Great. Just great."

A man has been waiting in line behind her this entire time. As she huffs and walks away, he hands me his book and says with a sly smile, "Are you sure you don't have that book? Cause she seemed to think that if she said the same think over and over it might materialize."
I burst out laughing, then shake my head: "You honestly have no idea. That was...typical."
"You are a saint," he says as he walks away.
Really? Hahahahahahahahahahahah.

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A woman approaches the register. "I'm looking for some book? About the Cubs? And baseball? I think 'August' is in the title?"
Oh! I know this one! I actually proofread this book when I interned at Houghton. I know this book very well. "The book you're looking for is called Three Nights in August. It's fabulous...it details a series between the Cubs and the Cardinals, and it's a really in-depth look at a baseball team." I pause, looking at her Cubs hat. "But, um, it's not really about the Cubs."
"Well," she says, her voice dripping with condescension. "I really think that depends on what team you're rooting for." Oh, she had to go be snotty.
"Um, I really don't think it does? Because, I mean, it's a profile of Tony La Russa, the manager of the Cardinals. It's all about him and his managing style and that he is the anti-Billy Beane...It's a counter book to 'Moneyball' and is mainly about how his managing style isn't based on statistics." Now she's looking at me like I have three heads. "Well my friend told me it was good and about the Cubs, and I think I believe her."
Alrighty, then. We will take your $14 so you can read a book about a rival team's manager. Have fun with that. (In case you don't know about the Cubs/Cardinals rivalry, this would be the equivalent of me picking up a book about how Joe Torre is such a good manager that they beat the Red Sox in the 2003 ALCS. So yeah, she's in for a GREAT time!)
I just smile. It's really all I can do.