P.O.s

Purchase Orders are the devil. Departments on campus use them in lieu of money--we have a requisition number and use a very complicated form and run the thing through the register nine million times and then the person walks away with a book and we bill the university. I can now do PO in my sleep, but I have a distinct memory of almost crying when I first screwed one up.

Today I had called R downstairs because it was ridiculously busy. A man approached her with a PO, and I initially wasn't paying attention because I was dealing with the five million other people who needed my help. Eventually, though, I noticed that they had been speaking for a while and that her voice had become insistent.
"Sir, I really need to have the form," I heard her say.
"No, I keep it."
"No, I really have to include it in the paperwork."
"Look. I have been doing this for a long time, and I'm going to keep it. It's for a $500 grant. I don't want to have to go get a new one." He's starting to get agitated.
They spoke for another minute, his voice rising each sentence.
At this point I intervened. "Sir, we really do have to keep that form. The cash office requires that we have at least one copy, and since you don't have a form with duplicate copies, we need to have yours."
"I have NEVER had to give this! By taking it, you will inconvenience me! This is ridiculous! I WORK for the university!"
He's been talking to me in an entirely condescending tone, which irritates me.
"I've done hundreds of PO's. We take the form," I say, flatly.
"So, you're saying that EVERY time I have to get a new one?"
"Yes. That is the standard procedure." I keep my voice even. His is getting louder and I will not give him anything extra. Flat voice. Calm. No sarcasm, just facts.
"That's RIDICULOUS. I don't have that kind of time. I will KEEP this form. That is the way it works."
Grrr.
"I understand you work for the university, but we're just following the rules. Rules that we obviously did not make."
He pauses for a moment.
"I could go to Amazon, you know."
Oh, now we're threatening!
I smile and sweetly say, "I don't think Amazon takes PO's."
He refuses to reliquish the paper and ends up paying cash for his book, mumbling that the university will have to reimburse him. But...won't that be more paperwork? Of the sort he had hoped to avoid?
Now, there are a couple of problems I have with this man:
1. He asked R to break the rules because he was too lazy to get a new PO the next time he needed a book
2. He was rude to me because I backed R and refused to let him bully me
3. He thinks that I would be threatened that he might order his book off of Amazon
4. He was an asshole

I mean, yelling at a salesperson for following rules that she has no jurisdicition over? That's pretty pathetic. And then being rude when her boss (i.e. ME) intervenes and then confirms her original statement? Unacceptable.

And then he took my name and said he would call the cash office and blah blah blah. And it was all I could to do say, "I have your name as well, and I'll be calling your department to report on your behavior."
And, for fun, let's say one last time:
I. Don't. Break. Rules.
Especially when it's dealing with money.