"That book bit me!"

So...The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. It's not the "new" Oprah book, which would be The Road, which I've heard is actually pretty fantastic. But it's a book that has been featured on Oprah. More than once. People are obsessed.
And, basically, it's a crock of shit.
Now, I'm all for positive thinking. Unhappy people are rarely ones who have fabulous things happen to them, mainly because they're not open to those opportunities.
However, I think The Secret, which I have had the pleasure to peruse a few times, takes the whole thing a tad too far.
And by "tad," I mean I kind of wanted to take this Rhonda Byrne character and give her a drink and hear her say, "The real secret is that I made up shit and people believe me and now I'm RICH!"
And the secret? It is out. BECAUSE THE WHOLE DAMN COUNTRY IS READING IT.
You want to know what they're learning? Very insightful facts, like, "If you don't have money and you keep thinking you don't have money, you'll never be rich. Instead, think that you might have money soon." Which would be a fabulous philosophy if I could also "think" that those pesky bills I receive every month might be fictitious. Like fairies! Or wood sprites! Or leprachans at the end of the rainbow with the pot of gold I might magically come across because of Rhonda's advice of this "positive thinking" business.
You are one delusional lady, Rhonda.

So, I'm changing the bestseller wall the other day. And The Secret is #1 again, of course, no surprise there. I start talking smack about The Secret and the people that buy into it. And then, as I'm placing the multiple copies on the wall, I swing my hand down AND THE BOOK RIPS MY FINGER IN HALF.
Now, this is no ordinary papercut. The cover got me, not a little, thin page. The cover is thick. And it seriously sliced through my finger. Blood is pouring off my pinkie.
I run back to the desk, exclaiming, "The book BIT me! That book is an asshole!"
So the secret is...don't fuck with the secret. It will get you.