Just. Don't.

I've talked about returns a few times, mostly here.
Today I had a girl exchange a book she had purchased the day before. Her friend recommended a book, she read the first two pages and hated it (I usually try to give a bit more time, but if you hate something, you hate it). She approached the register, gave us an idea of books she liked, asked for a few suggestions, and exchanged the first book for one more suited to her tastes.
This is fine. We don't mind when this happens at all. We want you to have a book that you enjoy. She was very polite and apologetic; it was clear she just really wanted to find a good book but had different taste from her friend.
And then.
Today I had a man come in to return two books. With about eight different receipts, because he kept buying books, then exchanging them for another.
THIS IS NOT OKAY.
IT IS STEALING.
I mean, this man had to extract a page of notes from the book. So he clearly had used the book.
NOT. OKAY.
"Wow, you've returned a lot of things," I murmered while sifting through the receipts.
"I have that right," he shot back.
Well, you really don't, but okay.
The second book he had bought in December, so I could refuse that return. He then tried to negotiate with me, asking me what would happen if he didn't have the receipt.
"After checking the computer to see if a sale occurred within the past 30 days, we take a 30% discount because of the various promotions we run."
That seemed to quiet him, but he did take five minutes to study the posted return policy.
"HEY!"
I had turned away from him at this point to do, you know, actual work.
"Yes?"
"This doesn't say anything about the 30% off without a receipt."
"It is a new policy, instituted January 1st. And the return policy you're reading clearly indicates that the book will be returned at the lowest selling-point in the past 30 days. It's a very reasonable policy."

He looks at me. A lot of people, I've learned, think that they can intimidate me by making eye-contact.

They can't.

And this is why:
1. I will go out of my way to ensure that you have absolutely the best experience at our store. I want people to like coming here. I take special pride when customers tell me they shop at our store because it's always neat, always current, and that we always have great books displayed. I mean, Mark Kurlansky complimented me on our table choices after learning that we personally pick the books. We work here. I take it very seriously. Trying to intimidate me while I work is not going to fly.

2. I adore my boss. Everything her employees do reflects on her. Our sales numbers also reflect on her, and meeting those numbers is really important--the numbers determine the amount of employees she can hire, how much coverage we have, how we're compared to other stores, how we're viewed within the company. They're a big deal, and if we're losing business, we need to know why. And it needs to be because we should display things differently or choose different books or have more community outreach. It should not be because people use us as a library.

When you excessively return books, you are screwing my boss over. And that makes me angry. If you're hindering her from meeting her sales goals, I'm not going to cut you slack.
AND EIGHT BOOK EXCHANGES SINCE DECEMBER=EXCESSIVE.
That means you have used eight books without paying.

I remember when I was young, I loved the movie "Adventures in Babysitting." At one point, the babysitter was trying to rescue her very naughty charges from a group of bikers.
"Don't fuck with the Lords of Hell," they growl.
"Don't fuck with the babysitter," she sneers back.

That's how I feel. Don't fuck with the bookseller. I'm SO not in the mood, I have a lot of responsibilities, and I'm fiercely protective. My boss works hard, and cheating the bookstore is cheating her.
DON'T.