Aaaand, we're back.

Back at work. Still sniffly, but I can stand up without falling over AND I have my voice back, so we're good to go.
Bible Lady was so thrilled to see me. "I think you've been gone a month...I MISSED YOU," she kept saying, over and over. I assured her that it had only been three days, but she insisted it had felt like a month. I told her that if I hadn't been at the store for a month, I would look a LOT better than my current state.
She then launched into a very long and convoluted story about her friend Susan. She's currently living with Susan and Susan's boyfriend. Half the time she hates Susan--I've heard her call her a slut, a dirty whore, a devil worshipper. But then she'll say, "She's really the sweetest person, she's letting me stay with her."
Today we learned that Susan is schitzophrenic. Apparently, she has alternate personalities that come out. BL is scared of her. And Susan hasn't been taking her medication because her boyfriend tells her not to.
"I don't like her. She's ruining me," BL tells me while shoveling mini candy bars in her mouth (her breakfast, she explains).
"Then don't live with her."
"But...I have a key!"
"You just said she scares you and you don't like her."
"I did NOT!"
Who's schitzophrenic? BL was just talking absolute nonsense.

Apparently, also, Susan's father is very wealthy. AND he is helping BL and Susan to fund their edible Bible scheme. And he owns an island.
ALSO, BL kept asking us if she could catch schitzophrenia. We assured her that she couldn't, and she said, "Well! Maybe that's why I was sent to live with her! She'll catch God from me! Cause I eat the Bible!"
Yes, we know.

BL was really on fire today. I, apparently, should be a model for Town and Country. Because that's high class, and that's where I belong.
"Not like trashy Anna Nicole. You're in a different league! And look at her picture all over the place. You should be a model. You have the look." The look of a skeptic? Yes, that's me.
Also, H is going to 111 lbs very soon. BL is praying for her.
And, rest assured, she is going to buy ALL her Bibles very soon. The money is coming. The money is coming.
And then I get a Saks shopping spree! Gotta prepare for the T&C photo shoot...