Mount Everest II

This is the thing.

If everything you want is at the front of the store, you walk in, buy that thing, and leave.

If what you want is at the back of the store, you have to walk by all the pretty! shiny! objects! in order to get to your destination. This is called Mar-ket-ing. I know, it's strange, but the people that run the store are trying to get you, the consumer, to buy things!

Therefore. Our restrooms will not be located by the entrance. Anything that is a destination--meaning, anything you WANT, like calendars or a textbook or the best-seller wall, will not be located within the first three feet of the store. It's a business, people! The more merchandise you are exposed to, the more you buy. Simple.

And speaking of business. Okay. If everybody got a discount, THAT WOULD BE THE PRICE. They're called "discount cards" because you have to pay to have one. And no, by coyly saying, "No, I don't, but I bet you could give me one," I will want to throw your 12 lb GQ in your face, not give you a discount, douchebag. You cannot charm me.

And if you're going to try, I will give you this for a discount:

(oh wait, that can't be printed.)