Meat.

I don't make a big deal about being a vegetarian. It's a personal choice. I could care less if people eat meat, order meat, eat meat in front of me, like meat, etc etc. When I'm waitressing, I usually lie: "Our chicken parm is fabulous!" I don't feel like getting into a debate and usually people just want assurance that their meal will be good.
But some people are so freaking indecisive.
"I'll have the lasagna with meat."
"Okay," I say, "would you like it with meatballs or sausage?"
I'm semi-busy and taking the order for a table of 12. They're already late for their reservation, are taking their time making decisions, and I can hear the chefs yelling that I have food up.
"Hmmm...wellllll...which do you like better?"
I'm in my no-nonsense mood, so I say, (apologetically, at least), "Honestly, I haven't eaten meat in 17 years. I have no idea what the difference between meatballs and sausage actually is."
She vacillates for another minute, staring at the menu as if it will magically answer her.
"Is one better?"
"I think it's personal preference. Do you like Italian sausage? People seem to enjoy that version."
"Um...I don't know. If you were going to eat meat, which would you choose?"
Now I'm annoyed.
"Well, since I haven't eaten meat since I was ten and am unlikely to...well...EVER, I can't make that decision for you." Seriously? She just asked me that?
The people at her table are starting to look annoyed. The guy next to her nudges her shoulder and says, "It's not a life-or-death decision."
She peers at the menu, glances up at me, exhales and says, "Sausage. I guess."
I snap my book shut, smile, and RUN away before she can change her mind.

It's like, I take my food pretty seriously. I looove eating. I'm thinking about dinner while I eat breakfast. But there is NO need to take that long to decide on a meat type. And after I've explained that I don't eat meat, trying to force me to make your decision is pretty ridiculous.

Would she have stopped asking questions if I said, "Actually, the whole thing grosses me out. They're both products of ground-up meat that can't be used for other purposes, so I think you're in a real win-win situation. Although I do think one is pig and the other cow. Pick an animal, I'll make it work for you."
All with a smile, of course.