Suuuuuuch a bad day.

Everyone is sick and it sucks. The classes at the English Language college started today, which meant a lot of miming and saying "FOURTH FLOOR" constantly. I cut the bottom of my foot and it hurts.

So I got into work and the stupid valentine's day table looks like crap. It looked like crap initially, but it looked even worse cause the manager wanted all the family-friendly stuff on the front. What, "She Comes Next" and "The Cosmo Kama Sutra" aren't appropriate for the first-floor drive aisle? I completely agree. But it didn't really matter because my first order of business was setting up the "Sex Coupons" table next to the register. Ew. This did, however, lead to my very favorite interaction EVER at the store.

I had just set up the table with the sex coupons and a girl began to browse. As she flipped through a book, a boy approached, watched her, and then said, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Well, isn't he a boy who knows what he wants? She replied, "Yes...and I'm not looking at the DIRTY ones!"
"That's too bad," he said.
Cut to me dying with laughter. I can only hope the coupon table becomes the new place to pick up women, cause that was awesome.


The only other interaction of note came when a girl approached my register with the latest issue of Time. "If I buy this and decide I don't like it anymore, can I return it?"
Uh, no?
First of all. It's a magazine. Either you like it or you don't. No, you can not buy it, read the article you want, decide the rest of it is not for you, and bring it back. Also? It's like $4. If you buy it and have buyer's remorse, suck it up. Use it for kindling. DON'T TRY TO BRING IT BACK TO ME.
"Magazines are not returnable," I say.
"Why?"
Le sigh.
"Because..." I pause for a second. What I really want to say is, "Who the fuck returns a magazine?"
But I don't. I say, "Because people would read them and return them and that doesn't make sense."
"But I don't know if I want it."
"There are plenty of places to sit and browse. Take your time."
Okay, again. Who doesn't know if they want a magazine or not? Like, just make a decision. It. Is. A. MAGAZINE.
Good god.