Stupid Questions (round one)

I know your teachers told you there are no stupid questions. I hate to tell you otherwise, but there are. There really are.
Here is a list of stupid questions I was asked today involving the cafe. My thoughts appear in italics.

"WHY is the starbucks gone?" Okay, this question isn't so stupid, because it could appear that the cafe is being destroyed. But people say it in SUCH an accusatory tone, it makes me crazy.
Then I say, "Well, it's being renovated!" Meaning, it's going to be better soon! YAY!
BUT, but what am I going to DO????
I cheerfully point out the DD across the street and the bagel shop next door.
Noooooooo! That won't doooooooo? What should i dooooooo? Well, I'm not sure? Chill the fuck out about your daily dose of java? learn to calm. down. it's only coffee.
They don't have my non-fat double dipped whipped no blah blah blah mocha. Once again, it's only coffee. If this is all it takes to throw your day off, I pity your future children and kind of don't like you at all.

That said, I understand that routine is comfortable. I love my tea. But, with the cafe closed, it took me a mere 60 minutes to adapt and bribe someone to run next door to buy my tea. Such an easy solution. Much better than whining about it.
(Although, I have to say, not being able to wash my hands drives me to insanity. Especially after a guy SNEEZED on his hand and then handed me a crumpled wad of money. Ew.)

And the rest of the questions:
A woman walks in, takes in the construction, and queries, "So....you don't have coffee?" I'm not sure where you would expect it to come from, since the cafe is clearly gutted. WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?
So did they move it to another part of the store for now?Oh yes. Clearly, the renovation is so time-intensive that they decided to just throw an ENTIRE starbucks somewhere else in the store for a few weeks. And then tear that BACK out when the new cafe is done. Seems like logical use of time and space, no?

And there are so many more, but it tires me out even talking about them. Endless regalia and textbook questions have been replaced with cafe questions. I only wish I knew what was next so I could mentally prepare. Or, you know, just tear my ears off.