Is that with the discount?

I took four days off this weekend to attend my sister's graduation, spend some time with the boy, and see lots and lots of family. It was a beautiful weekend, I was so proud of my sister, and I got to see my mom drink beer from a keg. What else could I have possibly wanted?
Well, to stay in NH for the summer, for one thing, but adults don't get to spend the summer lounging on the beach.
So I am back in Boston, feeling very refreshed. It even took me half a day to become only mildly annoyed by a customer.

Faculty and staff of the University get a 10% discount on regularly priced items. Now, if you purchase something for $5.00, this obviously doesn't come out to much. And one would think that if the person sees $5.00 flash on the register, then the total says "4.50," a discount was OBVIOUSLY applied. Right? No. Not at all. "And that includes my discount?" Well, of course it does, as the price on your magazine says a higher price than was quoted as the total. Duh.

A similar situation arises when ringing up our bestsellers, which are 30% off. The price that flashes on the computer is the full price, but the total reflects the discount. On a transaction with a lot of books, it would obviously be confusing to the customer. However, when the person is puchasing a single book priced at $14, and I state, "$10.98" as the price, and the person indignantly flips over the book and says, "This is 30% off!" then I want to scream. These are usually the same people who forget about tax and don't believe I've given them the full discount. Because with my two little braids and burnt nose I look like a vindictive little devil? WHY would they think that?

Another infuriating instance happened today and was the first twang of irritation I felt since being back. A man approached the register with a load of books and stated, "I'm faculty" while shoving his ID card in my face. Okay, good, we got that out of the way. "Alright!" I say, entering the discount plan. I ask him if he found everything and ring up his purchase, and say, "Okay, that comes out to $95.59." "Is that with my discount?" Now, this might be the absolutely MOST ridiculous question in the entire world. WHY ON EARTH would I tell you the total of your purchase without the discount included? I've already acknowledged that you're faculty. You showed me your ID. And as much fun as it would be to give you the real total and have you figure it out for yourself using an abacus and some tree bark, I don't have that kind of time. So OF COURSE the freaking price I'm giving you is the price I expect you to pay. I'm not making up random numbers for fun. I'm not trying to test your mathematical prowess. I want you to give me your credit card and stop asking stupid questions.

I know this seems like a fairly harmless question, something everyone has probably said at one point or another when using a coupon, etc. But it just grates on my nerves because it's asked a LOT. Maybe I should just start saying, "And your total--WITH THE DISCOUNT--is blah blah." Yes, that is what I will do.

And the people who say, "And how much did I save?", well, that's a whole other story. You saved 10% you twit, and if you don't want to do the math, neither do I, and it prints out at the bottom of your receipt, but until you give me the money so I can complete this g.d. transaction, I will not be able to tell you. Instead I say, "Well, we can see that once you pay!!!!" Yipeeee!

Deep breaths.